You Are A Chef – Choose Your Ingredients

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What are the ingredients for authentic communication, powerful interactions and life changing coaching sessions?
One of our leaders of the coaching group shared with us that the following ingredients are necessary  for authentic and effective coaching sessions:

Courage

Liveliness

Connection

And this is the question I asked myself – what would change if we could add those ingredients in our lives? While interacting with others? With ones we care about?
Today I invite you to our special kitchen, where you are a chef. Let´s add some new ingredients in our lives!

Let’s start with Courage

What does that mean to have courage? What is courage for you?
I think is to be able to express what we feel, to be able to share our thoughts and our emotions with those whom we care about, with those who care about us. And it means as well to speak straight forward when our friends are betraying themselves, when our family members are letting us down, when someone we care about is not listening to us, and when we see that this relationship does not work. This means to say what we feel and transmit it to other even when we know that the person will not like it. This is what the authentic friendship, authentic relationship is about. If not – we are floating on the surface. We decide whether we want to dive deep or to stay in superficial interactions.
Courage must probably is to choose with whom we want to be. To be transparent and fair to ourselves and to those who are near us – this is what courage is about.
And really, courage is to put aside our egos and to be able to listen the other part, being able to accept and respect what the other person needs. Being able to ask “what can I do for you now, what is your current need?”
My question to you is: which of your current interactions have this courage? Are you courageous enough with the ones you care? What is the important out of this to you?

And then we add liveliness

What does that mean to have this special sparkle in our relationships? When do you call relationships alive?
For me it is energy, it is life, it is a rhythm and enthusiasm!
This is sparkle that gives uniqueness to every interaction. I think the most important here is to ask ourselves – how is our communication with those we care about? Is it present in your talks with your friends? Do you feel that your relationships with the ones you love are alive? What is missing in order to have this ingredient in place?

Serve it with connection

What is connection to you? What can you do in order to be more connected in your relationships?
The question is what type of relationship do you want to have?
What type of interactions and communication do you have today?
Which ingredient do you want to have more present in your life?
What other ingredients would you add as a “must”?

Cooking time: 20 min

Let’s do some practice – choose any of your current relationships.  Imagine how would it change if you add more courage? And if you add more connection?  What changes when you add more of the above ingredients?
Another one is to visualize the relationship that according to you does not work at this moment (according to what you feel  now) – how can you apply any of the above to make it work better? (always when you want to and when you care about it! )
What will be your actions in order to add any of the above?
Or maybe you found out that there is something else missing besides the listed above?
When you will start adding ingredients that you want to have in your relationships? Be honest and committed to yourself! My advice is to write down the changes (even small ones!) in you, changes in other person and changes in your relationship after adding more of any of the above.
What is the most important out of these changes to you?

 

I think very often we want to be nice and polite, and that is why we do not say the important words to those whom we care about. We leave them without this important feedback or words that they probably need to hear, but we do not have enough courage… Maybe we afraid to lose them, maybe they won’t understand, maybe one day… Maybe…
Sometimes we feel that something is missing, and we forget that people we choose deserve to have courageous, alive and connected relationship. So do we.
I wish you to become a chef with the relationships you choose.  I wish you to have all those ingredients and even more than this, I wish you to add another ingredient that makes your relationships unique!

 

With love,

Jelena

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