This was during one of the modules of my coaching course when one of my CoActive coaching colleagues, Salva told me:
“Jelena, it is important to know how to live without being attached to people, to things, to relationships, to anything. (I will use the Spanish phrase that he told me: “hay que saber vivir en el desapego”). And this is what I took as take home message for myself. Did you ever ask what are you attached to? And whether this is your choice?
I remember we were speaking about our coaching clients, and he shared: “One day one of your client’s might disappear, but that’s OK, because you know that the same day something else is coming for you! You are getting extra time for yourself, for someone else to share your time with. You are not attached and if someone decides to go, let them go”.
Yes and yes! And what about our decisions? What would be something for us that we decide to let go?
I think the magic is happening when we letting them go – people, who are no longer sharing our moments, things that are obstacles to live happy and fulfilled life, cities that are stressing us out, emotions that does not reveal anything new about us…
So here comes the new year challenge for you my dear readers – lets think what we do not want or afraid to let go in our lives? What is it for you? Is it your work? Is it a person? Is it a city? What it is for you?
And for that I invite you to do the following exercise – this is something we did in one of our coaching modules and sometimes I offer this to my clients who find important take home messages our of this exercise.
Ready? My recommendation is to stand up, to close your eyes and remember your life 1 year ago…
Do it! I know you continue just reading (don’t cheat :)), since the entire exercise consist of standing up, closing your eyes and asking yourself the following:
Where were you 1 year ago? With whom? What did you feel? What was the important at that moment?
Try to really feel and connect with yourself.
The same questions you will ask yourself but every time you will change the focus – from 1 year ago, we are going to the next year, in 1 year – what do you see? Where are you? With whom and how do you feel?
It is important to give yourself some time for every time frame, for every question that you are answering. Try to really feel and observe yourself, give yourself necessary time.
Again we are coming back to the past, 6 months ago – how did you feel? What was the important there for you?
The next periods of time will be – in a 6 months, where you will be?
Coming back 1 month ago, asking the same questions. And in 1 month – what will change?
1 week ago, where were you? And in 1 week where you will be? With whom?
And now…. Now? Where are you? What do you feel? With whom? What is the most important there for you? And what are you saying “NO” to now? What are you saying “YES” to now?
I suggest you to take some notes on what happened during this exercise. What is your observation? What are your thoughts? What are your feelings? Where are you NOW?
In this exercise we are not searching for the right answers – important is to observe what did you see, how did you feel with every time frame. What was the new out of this?
You will say, where is the challenge? Here it comes – pick up something that you are saying “NO” and “YES” to.
What would be the first steps to make this happening? What are the first steps that you will make in order to complete this “NO” and “YES”? And how will you know once you are successful with your commitment? (maybe you want to write down the actions or comment every day in your diary how did you manage to work towards your NOes and YES – choose your way to stay honest and engaged with your decisions).
Every time we say “NO”, we say “YES” to something else. Congrats for those who are constantly working on this and welcome on board for those who just started to realize “Oh, there is something that I want more or less in my life”, what is it for you?
What is really important for you?
Since today´s post is the first one in the New Year, I have a small gift for you. The gift is the movie that I recommend you to watch, something that I found profoundly moving and different. You can easily found it in YouTube in English and its called: “The Shift”. Inspirational and moving, beautiful and uplifting – you will love it!
As usual, I am happy to hear from you, to read you to and speak to you. I would love to know what was the important outcome from the exercise and what are you taking from the movie.