Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.
“Fear of losing the stability, fear of stepping out from my comfort zone, afraid that I will not be able to make it and I am not ready for this step, I am afraid to fail…”
I could continue and have the entire post written of our fears. These are just some of them. Recently I have started coach practice sessions and I realized that the most common theme for the majority of people that are coming to me – are their fears. And its not about waking up one day and not feeling fear anymore, its about consciously knowing that it exists, the impact that it has on our lives and what we are going to do with it. This is what it is all about.
Everyone of us has their own deep fears. Of course, in many cases our fear is the alarm that protects us and is absolutely necessary. Yes. This is one our of basic emotions of the human being. However today I would like to speak about another fear, not the one that protects us when we are in danger, but the one that protects us from our growth, protects us from where we can potentially be and from what we can achieve.
This week I attended conference during which one of the speakers shared her thoughts that Fear is equal to STATIC. Indeed, when we do not move, in majority of the cases its because we are afraid. This is what closes the door towards our dreams and towards where we want to be.
Lets do small exercise, lets FACE our fears.
First of all it is important to know them. What are they.
I invite you to think of something important that you want to do in your life, something that you really want (not just unrealistic dream that you don’t care about), no, something that you really care about, your project, important decision, what it is?
Once you have this, then another question is: what prevents you from doing this? (try to think what is behind your answer) What your deepest fear is? Is it losing your stability? What are you resistant to?
Finally, what is the IMPACT that this particular fear is causing you? How does this feel? Try to really see the emotional impact that this fear is causing you.
And now ask yourself, what will happen if you are not going to make it? How will you feel if your fears will ruin your life project?
Now you might wonder, what to do next? Once we know what it is all about, once we know the impact on our lives. What next?
There is no a magic solution, however some psychologist advise the following on working with our fears:
Revise your victories.
Strengthen your belief in yourself by reflecting on the last three years of your life and every success you’ve experienced.
Close your eyes and feel the celebratory emotion of each one. Bring the same drive, persistence, and talent into now and allow it to inspire and motivate you.
Create a support group of friends and your family.
Your family and beloved ones can see your strength when you forget you have it.
The final question is: what are the possible solutions that come to your mind?
I would like to share with you the famous quote of Marianne Williamson, spiritual teacher, author and lecturer, this passage as well was used by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 Inaugural Speech. This is just to remind you that – impossible is nothing!
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Wish you a wonderful week ahead!