“Am I worried about insignificant things or am I contributing to something that is essential to me?”
Last week I had a chance to attend one of the conferences during which professional coach Morgane Bideau shared the importance of distinguishing what do we worry about. The above is the question she asks herself every day.
According to Morgane, throughout our life we have learnt to defend ourselves and manage immediate issues or dangers that are coming on our way. It is as if we were living in the forest where we would need to defend ourselves from immediate danger. However even if in our daily life we do not need to fight against dangerous situations, our brain is still attached to the same response of managing the issues. The key is to start contemplating all our worries from the broader perspective. How do we do this? By knowing what is really important for us, what is essential to us.
Think of the conflict that you had 5 years ago, conflict or any problem that you had some time ago.
Does the same conflict worries you right now? Or the problem got resolved and you overcame your fears?
Probably at this moment it does not make the same effect on you, right? Probably this is because it is not and was not essential to you. A lot of things that we worry about are very temporal, that is why we should not be giving so much importance on this, instead we may opt for something that really matters, something that defines the way we live our lives.
I found very interesting three major points that Morgane shared with us on how and why should we seek for our own essence, this is what I would like to share with you today.
1. Know yourself better
This means to know what matters to us. This means to leave behind false beliefs and expectations that we got from our childhood, from our society or our close friends that expect us to be the way they want. This means to be brave enough to listen ourselves and living our own lives, perhaps with our own mistakes and our ups and downs – but our lives, not someone else´s.
2. Help yourself to take right decisions
Decisions that are non negotiable, decisions that matters and are vital for us. It is about asking ourselves key questions:
Do I want to have a lot of money or do I want to be happy at work? What is the essential to me?
Do I want to try something new and risky and after be proud of myself because I tried, or do I want to be secure in everything that I do? What is the essential for you?
3. Simplify your life
You will probably agree that we are living in a very demanding world. Expectations are very high. We need to take care about our image, be outstanding at work, be seen as someone successful in the society. You will probably agree that such abundant society is as well exhausting. Choosing what really important to us and knowing how do we want to leave every day will help us to get rid of insignificant issues and problems.
I would add to the above list the following –
4. Know you limits
Honestly, there are so many times that we worry about things that are outside of our control, don’t you think so? If you know that you did your best, you really tried and it still does not work, if there is nothing else you can do – it is time to stop thinking about it and driving yourself crazy. Knowing our limits helps a lot to stop vicious circle of worried mind.
This requires some efforts, consciousness and a will to stay true to our own values. This is all about looking at what worries us most from the broader perspective, this is about knowing our limits as well and identifying situations that are outside of our control.
I invite you to answer the question – are you contributing to something essential or are you worried about insignificant issues?
I would like to thank my colleague, friend and professional coach Morgane Bideau for sharing her ideas on this topic (you can find more about Morgane by visiting her web site http://porfinlunes.com).
Wishing you a very happy week ahead!