Keep Your Hands Up In The Air

99 percent of everything what is happening in our life – depends on us. This was the favorite quote of  my Leadership course teacher. And then I would always ask him: “Really? And what about the factors that do not depend on us? Outside factors that affect us but we have nothing to do with it, such as natural disasters, diseases and other people reactions, decisions and evaluations that affect us?”

Do you think that we are responsible for what is happening with us?

Lets imagine 2 circles, one inside the other, where the black one indicates which part is the part that we control – our responsibility circle. How big is the first one?circle
In this example we can see that the black one forms the biggest part of the main circle. The black one is something that we take responsibility for. And the rest of it, white zone – everything that falls outside of our control. Everything that does not depend on us.

My question to you is – how big is your ¨black circle¨?


The bigger your black circle is, the more responsibility you take about everything what is happening in your life.

Now, imagine this. You have been working on something very important, something that matters to you, your project, presentation, book or performance – it can be anything that you are currently working on and it will be presented to the experts, since this is a competition, contest or something where you can win, or you can loose. What are the possibilities that you will win if your ¨black circle¨ forms the biggest part of the main circle? Probably high, because you took the responsibility to prepare, to spend a lot of time on creating something unique, you did your best this time. However, there are still possibilities that you won’t get anything, since opinion of the experts falls outside your control.
As a personal example I could give you the following: participating in the speech contest. There are always contestant and judges, that evaluate the speech and choose the best ones. But one question – does the speech become less significant if you have not been selected as a winner? After the contest the most important are the amazing words that we receive as speakers on how inspiring and unique it was. Evaluation and decision of judges in this case falls outside our responsibility. Because the “black circle” is our preparation, our passion and time that we spend on practicing. Outside of it – is something that we cannot control. We can influence – yes (with our great preparation), but the results – is not the ¨black circle¨ anymore.

So why do we get so frustrated or sad about something that is outside of our control?

Is it the reason to stop trying? Again and again? Is it the reason to think that you and your project are not worth it? Will you give up on trying just because you have not been recognized this time? Just think on how much you can give to others, how much lives you can change – this is the reason why it is worth trying, again and again.
If you love what you do, if this inspires you, if it makes difference at least to one person in this world – it is worth trying, preparing, spending time, getting the most of it and continue the amazing journey of learning.
Did you know that J.K Rowling (author of Harry Potter) tried 12 times (!!) before the first publishing house accepted her book?  Incredible, isn´t it?
If you love what you do, if you believe in this – never give up! NEVER. Don’t let outside circumstances and evaluations paralyze your talent and creativity.
Did you ever have situations like this? Did you continue to create and use your talent? Or maybe you are about to abandon it because this time you were not recognized?
As always, would love to hear from you and read your small or big stories of success!
How big is your “black circle?”
With love,

2 thoughts on “Keep Your Hands Up In The Air

  1. Jelena
    I like your post, it’s inspiring. We talked about this after that dinner, remember?
    However, I would like to argue that to influence people is not completely out of our control.
    We can influence people. How?
    1.- Nod
    2.- Repeat stuff back
    3.- Keep quiet
    4.- Make offers they can’t refuse
    5.- Use tiredness
    6.- Mirroring
    7.- Flattery
    8.- Names
    9.- Aim high
    10.- Get favors


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.