How do you react to complicated situations or people?
Let’s go back to school and remember human brain structure. As we all remember human brain consist of different parts that are responsible for various behaviors of our lives.
And so, we have our Rational Brain, Emotional Brain and Instinctual Brain, just as it is shown in the picture below:
Now again the same question to you – which part of your brain is involved when we react to problems, difficult situations?
You are right, Limbic brain and Reptilian brain comes to a stage. Our emotions and instinct to survive or attack come first.
BUT! The most important is the process after, that is to say – do we think about our reactions and emotions after, including our rational brain? Or do we stay in the level of instincts? How do we react to something unpleasant?
So here is the thing:
If we do not analyze our emotions and reactions, we remain in the instinctual world.
Today I have 2 tasks for you:
First. Explore your reactions.
Next time when you get angry and have an intention to attack, stop yourself and explore this emotion. Find out the reason behind and where does it come from? Remind to yourself that the will to attack is your instinctual part and only then respond to situation or person – at this point at least you give yourself a CHOICE as to whether react from your rational or instinctual brain.
Second. Practice with ones who are not conscious about their reactions.
I call these people “trainers”. See how do you behave with your “trainers”? People who tend to make you feel uncomfortable, sad or angry because of their instinctual behavior, they are not aware of this, but YOU ARE! That means that you are not into their games and not willing to counter-attack. Instead of reacting, try responding (one of the conflict solving techniques). I will share with you one secret, that personally helped me a lot to deal with unpleasant reactions – I simply do not give power to my “trainers” to ruin my day or my mood. Use your imagination and remember that you will not give them power to change your state of mind.
Sounds simple or not, the key is to become aware, to become conscious. The key is to practice. To analyse our emotions and love our “trainers”, because they are the ones giving us opportunity to evaluate our level of emotional intelligence and maturity.